Thank you to everyone who’s read my first two posts, and to all of you asking for a report after the first day of school. Not much to tell, actually. Maddie had a great day of fun and despite a 90-minute cab ride home, was in good spirits upon her return. But she did grab her dinner and retreat to her room to watch some anime she’s into. As expected. Tomorrow is another day.
In lieu of an interesting anecdote from today’s events, here’s a classic Maddie tale from years ago, a funny story that also serves as an explanation for why I don’t have a story for today:
I don’t know how much it was a personality thing or an Asperger’s thing, but for the first many years of Maddie’s life, she just didn’t have much to say.
Developmentally, Maddie’s speech was slow going at first. For the first 2 years and 1 month of her life, the only utterances that emerged from her mouth were screams. When she hit 18 months and hadn’t even begun to babble, we began to think perhaps we needed some help. We took her to The Developmental Pediatrician of the Bay Area to get her assessed. She was also not walking yet. Her intellect was clearly developing normally, but her gross and fine motor skills were lagging.
Because she was so young, it was too early to diagnose anything in particular. So the diagnosis was “low muscle tone/high risk.” Whatever that means, we thought, but that diagnosis expedited our entry into physical therapy and occupational therapy.
Around age 2, we were able to find a speech therapist for her. Shortly thereafter, she finally uttered her second recognizable sound at 25 months of age (the first one is a whole other story, coming soon). “Mama.” Yes, “mama.” No more beautiful sounds have ever escaped the mouth of a child than that first, long-awaited word. When your child is struggling with the typical development schedule, each teeny tiny step forward is a momentous occasion. The first word of any child, of course, is an unforgettable event for most parents, but we waited so much longer than most, and endured a whole lot of frustrated screaming in the meantime. So my heart nearly exploded with joy when my little Peanut finally said my name.
Finally! Finally, after all this time without a word, I might begin to know my child in a way all my other friends were knowing theirs. What has been on her mind that whole time? I wondered. What will she say?
Well, it turns out, she wouldn’t say much. While other little girls were soaring verbally (so much that their parents sometimes wished they would just shut up for a little bit), Maddie remained reserved with her speech, even as she entered school and was generally caught up. So there she was off at kindergarten, and I had no idea what in the world was happening all day. I would ask her, “What happened at school today? Can you tell me a story?” I was met with a shrug, or an “I don’t know.”
I have two theories on this: 1) Although she was verbally up to speed, it was still a bit of effort to say a whole lot, so she opted out and/or 2) the social and attention requirements of the school day left her utterly depleted and she was just done by the time the bell rang.
Then she entered second grade. She was still the same Maddie. I kept up my daily inquiry, always met with the same silent shrug.
Until, apparently, something so momentous happened during the school day, she just had to share it.
“What happened at school today?” I asked, AGAIN. (What an optimist!)
“Well,” Maddie began to my utter astonishment. She was about to, FINALLY, tell me a story about something that had happened to her. I couldn’t believe my ears. I was so thrilled. Something so funny or sad or exciting had happened that I was about to actually hear about it from my own kid!
“Well,” she continued, “today this boy Luke’s pants fell down around his ankles during recess.”
She laughed. I laughed. It was a funny story, and even funnier to me that it was a pants-less boy that finally stirred her up enough to tell me a story. It was a short story, to be sure, but neither of us will ever forget the day a boy lost his pants at school. Apparently everybody kept their clothes on today.
The Year of Living Hopefully 
Hi Chris it’s Darin Sanders….I was thinking about something while reading these updates….When my girls were young I did something that simply worked for them and for what it’s worth might be helpful. Please bear in mind that my knowledge of Aspergers is currently coming from you, so it is likely that what I say here is not helpful.
I have two girls and I never fought with them in the morning as they woke up for their day. Many parents of kids without Aspergers fight with their kids to get them up in the morning. So, what I would do or what I focused on was getting them out of bed. So every morning I would wake them up and they knew that if they climbed on my back….sort of like a bent over backpack stroll to the couch. Not like a Piggyback – but more like a “Give me your arms and I will pull you on my back and slowly get you to the couch. They would then wake up slowly sort of like you were able to do with the dog. Wake up slowly but not abruptly.
For us it worked. I think at this stage being a sophomore makes this difficult simply because she is big. (She is not 10 is what I mean)
But I thought I would tell you about this – just to add to all the things you are trying. Getting them out of bed sure helped.
Take care and keep writing. Good luck.
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