The big news around here these days is that we have an additional member of the household. And, yes, she is human. (Two dogs and two cats is enough, don’t you think?) It’s been a few months in the making, and the day has finally arrived. Our lives are enhanced with the fifth member of our family!

My niece, Rachel, has to come live with us while she transitions from the Central Coast to the Bay Area. She’s a fabulous 22-year-old young lady whom I have adored since the moment it was announced that she was coming to this earth. Of course I’d love her to stay here forever, but I know this is just stopping point on her way to bigger and better things.

Among all the many benefits of having Rachel here, it has occurred to me that this might have a positive effect on our kids’ behavior. My son probably won’t want her to think he’s a jerk, so maybe his teenager-y behavior will drop a notch or two. A friend mentioned Maddie might respond the same way. After all, Rachel and her two siblings have long been the object of my kids’ admiration. They are a trio of fun, lively, loving people. Excellent choices of people to emulate.

But I know better. Maddie loves Rachel and is so happy to have her here. “It’ll be like having a sister!” she recently told me. “And I’ve always wanted a sister.”

Well, I guess that’s truer than I might have originally thought. Do sisters try change their behavior to impress each other? Not in my experience. I have two sisters and don’t ever remember thinking about that!

While Maddie is interested in spending time with Rachel, and wants to share her imaginative costumes and other things that interest her, changing her own behavior just isn’t something that would occur to Maddie. She’s very much a “take-it-or-leave-it” kind of person, for better or for worse.

Rachel arrived yesterday afternoon. Instead of retreating to her room, Maddie accompanied Rachel, me, and the dogs to my friend’s house around the corner for puppy play time. That’s new. She also elected to hang out with us, eat dinner, and help Rachel with a project, all instead of her usual Minecraft time. What a wonderful change! Maddie was engaged and happy, and still cooperative at bed time.

But today we are back to normal. I’m not one bit surprised that Maddie is in bed instead of in the cab on her way to school. I sort of expected this yesterday because of the Halloween festivities. One big night and she can be wiped out for days to follow. So here we are again on a Tuesday (I now hate Tuesdays too), and Maddie simply said “No” when it came time to get up. No “I’m tired” or “I need some more sleep.” Just a flat refusal with no explanation. She has chosen to stay home. The pronouncement has been made. End of story.

Does Maddie care what Rachel will think about that? Apparently not. Of course, Rachel doesn’t actually have a judgment about Maddie. She loves Maddie just as she is. Maybe Maddie knows that. But really I think that whole concept of how she’s perceived by other people isn’t part of her make-up, again for better or for worse.

Maybe next time I should point this out. “Don’t you want Rachel to see what a good kid you are?” I could say. Now that I see those words typed out, I see how ridiculous the concept is. Maddie really just won’t care. Maddie’s initials are MEH. Who knew how prophetic those letters would become? If “meh” isn’t her motto, I don’t know what is. (Okay, once she said it was “Toast is life,” but I think “meh” covers more territory.)

I still have a tiny bit of hope that somehow Rachel will have a positive influence on Maddie. Maybe it won’t be quite so calculated. Maybe Maddie will simply rise up. Maybe there will be something in Rachel that Maddie wants to emulate. Or, more likely, Maddie’s interest in spending time with Rachel will bring her out of her room a bit more. And maybe more social time will somehow help Maddie develop. Who knows.

Maybe Rachel just being her wonderful self will give Maddie some extra confidence, some inspiration, and most certainly a bit more love.

One of the great things about family is how (if you’re lucky, as I am) they get you. That has certainly been true for my kids. Nobody has treated my kids with more compassion and a deep understanding and appreciation than our family.

What somebody else might see as a quirk or a challenge, they see as a gift, something to be celebrated.

So maybe that’s what we’ll all get out of having Rachel around! Just another layer of love and appreciation.

I can’t say with a straight face that I’m not a little excited about shopping with my niece, getting our nails done, planning and preparing meals together, etc. She’s going to be a great pal to have around, although my wish for her is to build a group of friends her age–even though I like to consider myself young (i.e. immature) for my age.

However this all turns out, I know that having Rachel around for awhile is a privilege. We will make the most of it!